Is there beauty in all this trauma? This a piece about the countless conflicting emotions in my life and my home, a country where my existence as a queer person is illegal. It’s confusing to explain my unconditional love for my home despite all the hatred I have for it due to the constant oppression and censorship thrown my way. This piece is a 15 minute short performative film. I use my masked persona that was created from a vulnerable place to highlight these conflicting emotions I have never been able to put into words. The purpose of this piece is to portray this message in a way that is open to interpretation and to contrast chaos and beauty, highlighting how in my world - they bizzarly blend in - not in a happy way, but it’s the case of having no choice but to adapt to the situation. This piece honours any queer Arab risking their life on a daily basis by just existing.